Finding sex-positive self-love online
by Sarah Michelle Sherman
Ilustration by Julia Zipporah. Our nonprofit generates funding in multiple ways, including through affiliate linking. When you purchase something through an affiliate link on this site, the price will be the same for you as always, but we may receive a small percentage of the cost.
For Sara, who goes by “Miss Couple,” self-love is an action — something you do every day. “You can’t just say ‘I love myself’ and boom!” the upstate New York boudoir photographer says. “It’s how you show that love to yourself.”
Miss Couple, the person behind Boudoir Unbound, believes a boudoir photography session is one of the best ways someone can demonstrate their self-love. The experience lets an individual see themselves in a new way, appreciate their body, accept the parts of themselves they are sensitive about, and embrace their imperfections. It also offers the opportunity to feel truly connected to your body, which is something many of us struggle with.
Dr. Rosara Torissi, LCSW R, MEd, CST, PhD, says, “We are so deeply disconnected from our bodies, it’s outstanding.” Known to recommend boudoir photography to her clients to help remedy this profound disconnect, Dr. Torrisi notes the great impact it's had. “Everyone who's ever done it is so happy they did,” she says. “You are super sexy… you should see yourself that way.”
Boudoir photography can be a big step in a person’s self-love journey, according to Miss Couple. And amidst a culture that makes us doubt ourselves, it’s crucial we find outlets that enable us to feel confident and celebrate our bodies.
Licensed psychologist Dr. Nikki Coleman says that most women in the United States struggle with feeling really good in their bodies, which impacts their confidence. She says we live in a “fat-phobic” and “diet-centered culture,” where there are a lot of social expectations for “women to show up to the world in a certain way.” Boudoir photography, Dr. Coleman says, is a powerful way for women in particular to combat these expectations. She’s been known to recommend it to her clients, noting its many benefits and also its capacity to help an individual heal and grow. She says that the experience of being treated with so much love, compassion, and respect throughout the photo shoot can be particularly transformative for a person, helping them think differently about their own value and worth.
In recent years, this particular style of artistic expression has been on the rise, attracting all types of people who want to celebrate their bodies, regardless of size or shape. In February 2023, it was reported that #boudoir had gained 1.9 billion views on TikTok — evidence that these types of photo shoots are becoming more mainstream.
With nearly 13,000 followers on Instagram, Miss Couple has been building digital community through her work. She’s also on Facebook, where she hosts a group devoted to sex, dating, and relationship advice for women and non-binary people, which has over 1500 members. Free of judgment and shame, she says she’s “created a space — a safe space — for women to talk about sexual issues because there isn’t really anywhere we can talk about it comfortably.”
Julia Zipporah
Technically considered a micro-influencer (someone with 10,000–50,000 followers), Miss Couple’s online presence is an important part of what she does. She has a lot of fans from all over the globe and most of her clients find her on Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok. These platforms enable her community to come together, ask questions, cheer each other on, and support one another on their journeys of self-love and prioritizing pleasure.
In addition to her photography business, she also works as a sexual empowerment and intimacy coach. With a background in psychology, she’s equipped to guide individuals on their self-love journeys, helping them to feel beautiful and valued. Miss Couple is also the author of The Ultimate Guide to Bondage, a reference guide for BDSM which reveals just how much more there is to bondage than whips and chains. Much of what informs her work as a sexual empowerment and intimacy coach ties into her work as a boudoir photographer.
Trust is a vital ingredient to any successful BDSM relationship, just as it is for a client and their photographer in a boudoir setting. The client must trust that the person on the other end of the camera will capture exactly who they are and who they want to be in the photos. Also similar to BDSM, boudoir photography can be empowering — whether the model is reigniting power that’s dimmed or discovering it for the first time. It’s about being as in control as you are vulnerable, and loving yourself for exactly who you are.
Undoubtedly a woman with vast knowledge and skill, Miss Couple continues to empower women with her camera, which she says is an amazing gift both for her and the person being photographed. “Women (especially) receive so many messages about how our bodies are supposed to look,” she says. “Having agency over that and getting to choose it and getting to be a part of that process and feel beautiful and feel seen in exactly the way that you want to be seen, not in the way that everybody’s telling you to be, I think is invaluable.”